


Not Again

by Awesome_Sauce432



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I felt the pain so you all get to feel it too, i wrote this in half an hour, tagged as graphic violence just in case, when beau cries i cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 16:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18123782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesome_Sauce432/pseuds/Awesome_Sauce432
Summary: She had to get back into the fight. Just- just in a second. After she caught her breath. She'd run past Caleb to get to this small little alcove, knowing that the haste was about to run out and not wanting to be in the thick of things when it did. The others would be able to hold on for a moment. Yasha was there, Nott was somewhere, she could hear Jester, Fjord and Caduceus shouting things. Caleb was hurt, but he could stay up for just a few more moments. Just long enough for her to recover, to get back into the fight.------------A friend on the ground, a massive weapon poised to strike, Beau standing a few feet away and nothing to do about it. Something about this situation feels a bit familiar.





	Not Again

Beau leaned against the rough walls of the cavern, feeling the last drops of Caleb's haste burning their way out of her bloodstream, replaced with tiredness that seeped into her bones. Her hands were drenched in succubus and quasit blood, her clothes splattered and singed and her hair clumped together and falling out of its topknot. 

 

She had to get back into the fight. Just- just in a second. After she caught her breath. She'd run past Caleb to get to this small little alcove, knowing that the haste was about to run out and not wanting to be in the thick of things when it did. The others would be able to hold on for a moment. Yasha was there, Nott was somewhere, she could hear Jester, Fjord, and Caduceus shouting things. Caleb was hurt, but he could stay up for just a few more moments. Just long enough for her to recover, to get back into the fight. 

 

Her legs felt heavy as if they were made out of lead and her head began to spin. She winced, used to this aftereffect. Just a few seconds. All she had to do was hold on for a few seconds, and she knew she'd be able to push through it, get back to fighting these assholes like she was supposed to.

 

A small yelp from Caleb drew her attention, and slowly (so  _painfully_ slow compared to what she was used to) she looked up to see him on the ground, moaning and holding a hand over his stomach. Somehow in the few seconds she hadn't been looking he'd been knocked unconscious and healed back into consciousness, but he was still left prone on the ground, with the demon unfortunately close by. Fuck. Beau tried to get moving but her body resisted, stiff and frozen where it was. But Yasha was there, taking a few steps forward with her greatsword in her hands, and she breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Yasha had some healing, right? 

 

Except Yasha didn't heal Caleb.

 

All at once Beau noticed the empty look in her eyes. Brought new meaning to empty swipes that she'd felt cut the air behind her as she'd run, that she'd assumed to have been from the incubus or the demon or some other tiny creature. Yasha was charmed, just like how Caleb had been. But it was too late for that realisation.

 

Beau stood still, transfixed, maybe ten feet away, absolutely  _useless_ to do anything as Yasha raised her greatsword and stabbed it directly down with all the force she could muster, straight into Caleb's chest. She didn't even hesitate. 

 

Not again.

 

All of a sudden Beau felt like she couldn't breathe, completely frozen not just from the worn off haste. There was a flash of red mixing with purple in the corner of her eyes, a shiver of cold running down her spine. No. No no no no-

 

On the ground, Caleb squirmed for barely a moment before going slack, his clothes already so drenched that these new stains hardly made a difference. Yasha removed the sword from his chest (the same place, it was nearly the  _exact_ same place) with a practised, methodical movement, blood dripping from the metal and burning into the back of Beau's mind. Time already seemed slow and Beau's cursed, frozen, useless body couldn't do anything but  _stand there_ as she watched Yasha tilt her head, surveying her handiwork before raising the Magician's Judge and swinging down again.

 

No. Oh gods Yasha was going to kill him.

 

She was going to kill him and Beau was just going to stand there, within arm's reach, just staring. Again. She'd  _promised_ herself she'd never stand by to watch another friend get killed. 

 

But here she was. Watching it happen all over again. Just as useless as she'd been the first time. 

 

She only felt her fingers begin to twitch, her body starting to feel warm again, time starting to speed up again, as Yasha turned away from Caleb (dying. He was dying) and ran in the opposite direction. She didn't even look at Beau. Didn't even know what she'd done. Oh gods. 

 

Caleb was still breathing though. It was ragged, and uneven, but he was still breathing. He was still alive. Beau had no healing potion, had no spell she could use to help. All she had were her fists. Perhaps if she hadn't run past Caleb, Yasha would've gone after her instead. Then Caleb could still be up, and he could use his spells or get somewhere safer and he wouldn't be lying on the ground dying for what seemed like the fifth time in as many seconds. She could've taken it. Maybe. At the very least she was able to dodge better. 

 

She ran past Caleb, knowing she couldn't do anything for him but kill this demon, or snap Yasha out of her charm. She couldn't let Yasha hurt anyone else. She couldn't let this demon hurt anyone else. She couldn't lose any more of her friends while she was in arms reach. Dairon's advice echoed in her head. Don't get attached. Yeah. She'd sure succeeded at that. 

 

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she rounded on Yasha, the demon on her other side, and she balled up her fists. Not again. She couldn't lose anyone else again. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> IF I SUFFER YOU SUFFER WITH ME 
> 
> Anyway I know in the scheme of things (*squinting at Nott and Caduceus*) this was sort of a smaller moment, but it stuck with me. The parallels, man. Think of the parallels. 
> 
> Also Beau crying devastates me


End file.
